Modern, Married, Midlife, Mama

Since I was 14, I’ve been hustling in some form or fashion. Jobs, school, internships, some such combination of it all. It feels strange to say that I have been an informally employed mama since late 2018. Nearly four years without work outside the home.

Now don’t get me wrong, I still have gigs. I run this family and contribute to my community, teach others about movement and create a space that allows me to grieve. But I don’t have to do all of that AND work formally. Such demand on time and energy – believe me – I know the advantage. 

Lately though, I’ve gone back to work some and even just adding a day or two a week, I feel the stress on my connections and the strain on my discipline. 

There was always plenty of hurry up, we’re late, can you focus, we’ve got somewhere to be, and now I manage all the busy with less patience and more fatigue. I exercise less and find it easier to get hits of joy in sugar and substances. I get overwhelmed with the plethora of chores, which don’t lessen just because I’m away from home. 

I can’t help but wonder how other women balance being a modern, married, midlife, mama – or some such other combination. Surely there are better ways to balance all the expectations and responsibilities, while also feeling engaged and fulfilled. 

When you’re outside your home – 4, 8, 12 hours a day

• How do you come home and meaningfully spend what little time is left, especially when there is still so much to do? 
• How do you muster patience with your children, especially when you’re worn thin and they don’t listen or meltdown, make massive messes or just annoy you inadvertently?
• How do you balance the pressure to
• be fit and create nutritious, tasty, family-friendly meals,
• contribute as an equal partner and connect with hot sex, 
• maintain a tidy and ideally designer home,
• support exceptional and thriving children,
• engage with a robust social life and activities calendar,
• stay informed and build a community of support and interconnectedness,
• lead as a kind, patient, and present human that looks inward once in a while.
• How do you make any time for just you, to remember that you are more than just a walking taskmaster? 

I look around at all these other women and find myself curious – how do they do it so gracefully? They look calm and confident, they are compassionate and curious, they are confident and connected. It seems like I’m doing it all wrong. 

I am terminally guilty with a part of myself loud and unforgiving, so when I’m sitting in a mountain of laundry, mulling over the complicated to-do list thrashing around in my head, I feel like I must be lacking in some way. 

I start to wonder –

• How do other humans do it and look fairly content while they’re at it? 
• How do you set boundaries around your time and energy?
• How do you give yourself grace for what’s left?
• How do you experience the meaning in the midst of so much mundane?

I’m still learning, I can tell you that. And, I’m trying to prioritize this 15 minute practice of relentless self care. Because my ultimate intention is to leave a little bit of myself behind through my stories, and they don’t seem to just write themselves. 

If you need a little nudge to pause and practice too, try this Working Women journal package. There are prompts intended to speedily capture you, there’s a planner to support simple organization, and there’s a life log to catalog the day, which over time tells quite a special story. 

Share yours @extheornow

And thank you for spending your precious time and energy here with me. It matters. 

If you’ve made it to the end of this, I am most grateful. My head is a swirl of loneliness, gratitude, exasperation and hope. Knowing a part of me is now with you brings much peace.

I would be honored if you would share your story with me, in some small way @extheornow